You just got engaged. Congratulations.
Now someone asks, “So, have you started planning yet?” and the weight of a thousand decisions hits you at once.
Venue. Budget. Guest list. Food. Flowers. Photographer. DJ. Dress. Suits. Invitations. Table linens. Cake flavors. Seating charts.
Take a breath. You don’t need to figure all of that out right now. You need to figure out three things first, and everything else builds from there.
Step 1: Determine your budget
This is the conversation nobody loves having, but it shapes every other decision. Before you tour a single venue or reach out to any vendor, get clear on the money.
Questions to answer:
- Who is contributing? (You, your partner, parents, other family members)
- What’s the total amount available?
- Are contributions gifts or loans? (This matters more than people think.)
Practical tips:
- Use a spreadsheet from day one. A simple Google Sheet works. Track every estimate, deposit, and final payment.
- Build in a buffer. Most couples spend 10 to 20 percent more than their original number. Plan for that now instead of being surprised later.
- Allocate by priority, not by “industry averages.” If photography matters more to you than flowers, spend accordingly. There’s no rule that says you have to put 10% toward the cake.
Where does entertainment fit?
Entertainment is usually one of the larger line items (alongside venue, catering, and photography). It’s worth understanding what that investment includes before you set a number. I wrote a breakdown of what DJ pricing actually covers if you want a clearer picture.
Step 2: Draft your guest list
Your guest count is the single biggest driver of cost. Every person you add affects:
- Venue capacity
- Catering (per-head pricing adds up fast)
- Table and chair rentals
- Invitation and stationery costs
- Overall energy and vibe of the event
How to start:
- Each partner makes an independent list. Don’t edit each other’s lists yet. Just get names on paper.
- Combine and categorize. Create tiers: “must invite,” “would like to invite,” and “if there’s room.”
- Cross-reference with budget. If your budget supports 120 guests but your combined list is 200, you’ll need to make some choices.
- Plan for attrition. Depending on the wedding (destination, weekday, etc.), expect 10 to 25 percent of invitees to decline.
A useful rule of thumb: if you’re struggling with the guest list, go back to your budget. The numbers will make some decisions for you.
Step 3: Define your vision
“What kind of wedding do you want?” is a big question. It’s easier to break it into smaller ones:
- Formal or casual? Black-tie ballroom or relaxed garden party?
- Indoor or outdoor? (Or both, with a ceremony outside and reception inside?)
- What’s the energy? Intimate dinner party with acoustic background music? Or packed dance floor until the venue kicks everyone out?
- Are there cultural or religious elements? These often shape the ceremony structure and sometimes the reception flow.
- What do you want guests to feel? This is the most important question. Elegant and sophisticated? Fun and wild? Warm and personal?
You don’t need a Pinterest board with 400 pins. You need a clear sense of the vibe, because that vibe guides every vendor you hire, every design choice you make, and every song that gets played.
Talk to each other first. You and your partner might have different assumptions. One person pictures a formal seated dinner. The other imagines a taco truck and string lights. Neither is wrong, but you need to align before you start spending.
Bonus: Set up a dedicated wedding email
This is a small move that saves hours of frustration later.
Create a new email address (something like smithwedding2026@gmail.com) and use it for every vendor inquiry, contract, and confirmation. The benefits:
- Searchable. Need to find a vendor’s contract from 4 months ago? It’s all in one inbox.
- Shared. Both partners can access it. No more “Can you forward me that email from the florist?”
- Clean. Your personal inbox stays free of 200 wedding-related threads.
- Spam-contained. Wedding expos and vendor sites love to send follow-ups. Keep that traffic in a separate lane.
What not to do (yet)
Resist the urge to:
- Book a venue before you know your guest count. A 300-person ballroom feels empty with 80 guests. A 100-person barn can’t fit 200.
- Hire vendors before you have a vision. If you don’t know whether you want a formal or casual event, you’ll end up hiring vendors who don’t match.
- Compare prices without context. A photographer who charges $4,000 for 8 hours of coverage and a second shooter is a different product than one who charges $2,000 for 4 hours and digital-only delivery. Same goes for entertainment, catering, and everything else.
Key takeaways
- Lock in your budget, guest count, and vision before doing anything else.
- Use a spreadsheet from the start. You’ll thank yourself in month 6.
- Let your priorities drive your spending, not industry “rules.”
- Set up a shared wedding email. It’s 5 minutes of work that pays off for a year.
- Don’t rush into vendor contracts until you have a clear foundation.
What’s next?
Once your foundation is set, the next step is building your timeline. How far out should you book each vendor? What happens if you’re on a shorter timeline?
Next in this series: Wedding Planning Timeline: When to Book What
Part of: How to Plan a Wedding: The Complete Guide (2026)
Ready to talk about entertainment? Check availability.